Monday, May 21, 2007

WORRIED IN LOUISIANA

I am 28 and have a wonderful 3-year-old daughter. When I was 12, my older cousin, who was 16 at the time, fondled me, thinking I was asleep. I said nothing about it and neither did he.

That was 16 years ago. A couple of weeks ago we had sex, and now I am pregnant. Should I lie to my family about who the father is? -- WORRIED IN LOUISIANA

First of all, let me say I think your letter is a hoax. But let's assume it's not...

Just so I understand the problem correctly, you are pregnant by a cousin who molested you 16 years ago. Perhaps fondling means something else in Louisiana. Maybe he felt you up over your blouse--sorry, overalls. Whatever he did, it wasn't terrible enough to make you revile him enough to avoid hooking up with him in adulthood (I'm assuming at a family reunion--a hotbed for Louisiana casual sex encounters).

Oh, the intense sexual frustration that must have been brewing between the two of you for the past 16 years, y'all.

Fortunately for your 3-year-old, a quick googling of the internets (no, not what happened to you 16 years ago) reveals that marriage to your first cousin is illegal in Louisiana. At least you won't be able to marry your cousin and compound this error--unless you hop the border to open-minded Texas for a quick civil union. The downside? You've just doubled your daycare expenses as a single mom.

Should you lie to your family about the father? Yes. Will they eventually discover the truth? Yes. Should you still lie about it now? If you don't, it will seem like you're proud of this relationship. You need to bury this secret into some shameful corner of your life and never look back until you're forced to confront it, shattering many lives in the process. Or you could shatter lives now--the choice is yours.

Your advice, readers?

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