Monday, May 28, 2007

PROUD MOM IN HOUSTON

DEAR ABBY: My youngest son was married in Las Vegas five weeks ago. We told him and his wife that we'd have the wedding reception at our home, and we're planning to do so.

At this same time, my husband and I have bought a new home, and we'd like to share it with our friends as well. We would like to do both on the same day.

I want to convey to our guests that no gifts are expected for the reception, as many do not know my son, and at our age, no housewarming gift is needed either. How do I tactfully let them know this, and is it all right to do both parties on the same day and make it casual with outside eating? -- PROUD MOM IN HOUSTON

It's just this type of overbearing mothering that made your son run off to Vegas to avoid letting you dictate the terms of his wedding. Fortunately for you, you can now force him to have a reception at your house where his matrimonial union can take backseat to showing off your new house. The fact that your son doesn't know any of these people highlights your self-centered, controlling parenting style.

Hey, why not make the whole day about you? Maybe you could force your son and new daughter-in-law to give guided tours of your new home. Or they could serve drinks at the bar.

What are you more proud of, your son or your new house?

I think it's totally appropriate to have both events on the same day. Not only will everyone be uneasy trying to figure out exactly what event they're attending, they'll have to figure out which event to bring gifts for. No matter how tactfully (and I'm sure you're full of tact) you mention not to bring gifts, most sane people will bring a wedding gift to a wedding reception, regardless of how well they know the couple. That's the arrangement: you provide free food and hopefully free booze, they give the newlyweds a set of glass tumblers from Crate and Barrel.

So if you're having a reception AND housewarming, they'll feel awkward just bringing a wedding gift and will also get a little knick-knack for the house. Which, come to think of it, is probably exactly what you're hoping for. Methinks the Proud Mom protests a tad bit too much.

Lastly, "casual with outside eating" sounds like something you'd read in the craigslist personals. You live in Texas, just call it a barbecue.

Your advice, readers?

1 comment:

Tommy Fred said...

Question: If she's so proud, why ain't she demandin' no presents? Ah-ha!