STRIPPED OF MY PRIDE

Ten years ago when I was in college, I worked briefly as a topless dancer to pay my rent. I am not proud of it, and frankly, I try to forget it ever happened.

I am now married and have young children. My husband knows about my past and doesn't judge me. We have an agreement -- we just pretend it never happened. Of course, nothing has been said to our children or other family members, and we do not plan to say anything.

I have a friend from college, "Nancy," with whom I get together once or twice a year. We recently had her over. Out of the blue, Nancy looked at my 2-year-old daughter and said, "Did you know your mommy used to be a stripper?" Then she laughed. I was stunned. I let out a nervous laugh and stammered, "Uhh ... I try to forget I ever did that." She laughed and repeated her comment to my child!

Nancy is the last person I would have expected to say something like that. It wasn't meant maliciously, but I don't know why she said it. Maybe it was just a joke that turned out incredibly not funny. She has no children, so maybe she doesn't realize how impressionable a 2-year-old is.

My husband wasn't in the room when it happened. When I told him about it a few days later, he was very upset. He said I need to address this with her before we get together again. He says if I don't, he will.

I feel that we don't see Nancy often enough for this to be an issue. I couldn't believe she said it in the first place, but I can't believe she'll do it again. Of course, I'd be horrified if she did. What do I do? -- STRIPPED OF MY PRIDE

If you've got a body nice enough to strip, what's not to be proud of? Of course, that was ten years ago--things sag.

Your topless days aside, your problem is your old college chum. What a piece of work that "Nancy" is. I don't like her, but more than that, I don't like your approach to handling her. Life isn't a lapdance--it's okay to rub someone the wrong way.

Do you remember anything your parent's friends told you about your parents when you were 2? Hopefully your 2-year-old doesn't know what a stripper is yet so the exchange will disappear if you don't let Nancy bring it up again. But I promise you, she will.

Do you really believe Nancy didn't mean it maliciously? I think Nancy knew it would upset and humiliate you. And then she laughed. I hate her. You must talk to her about it, letting her know you never want her to tell your children about your stripper days. But I promise you, if you are friends with Nancy in 15 years, she'll somehow let it slip to your teenage daughter. And laugh. It's all a joke! She just thought it was funny! I mean, you, a stripper! HAHAHAHA!

I've given this advice before and I will again. You must ruthlessly cut Nancy out of your life forever. She's trouble. Unless you want more trouble, skip your annual visits for a few years, replacing them with insincere emails where all you do is talk about your kids. That'll keep her away.

You're not stripped of your pride for taking your clothes off to pay for that course on Descartes. But you turn your pride into the flossy end of a g-string when you don't stand up to your passive aggressive frenemy.

Your advice, readers?