JERSEY GIRL (NOT MY LEGAL NAME)

This is in response to "Confuzzled in Florida" (March 24), regarding parents who give their children one name but demand they be called something different.

I am an administrative assistant in an elementary school in New Jersey, and I have encountered the same problem with parents who register their children for kindergarten.

I must check the child's original birth certificate to verify the birthday and to ensure that he or she is registered under his or her legal name and that it's spelled correctly.

Abby, I've had parents tell me that "Little Johnny" does not know that "Franklin" is his legal name, and I should register him as "Little Johnny." I then have to explain to the parent that we DO have to register him as "Franklin" because that's the name he'll have to learn to write in kindergarten, as it's his legal name. I also explain that when "Franklin" starts school, he can tell his teacher he prefers "Little Johnny" and can then be called whatever name he chooses in the class.

I advise parents to make sure the child knows what his or her legal name is before starting kindergarten. This is the name that will appear on all records throughout the school years. -- JERSEY GIRL (NOT MY LEGAL NAME)

Who to side with? Overindulgent parents who demand the rules bend to accommodate their whims? Or wonkish educational administrators? Jeer Abby is perplexed.

It's perfectly understandable parents would want to change their children's name when attending Jersey public schools. I'm just surprised it's only the first name they want changed.

But just because kids have to register with their legal name shouldn't mean that's the name they'll learn to write in Kindergarten. It's not like these kids are opening checking accounts or drafting wills. I'm sure crayola scribbles resembling "Little Johnny" with an adorable backwards "e" will be just fine for passing Kindergarten--or most public high schools, for that matter.

When parents try to legally register their kids with nicknames, cheerfully ask the parent: "How about if I register your son as "Numb Nuts" since that what all of his classmates call him?"

Your advice, readers?