SCARED IN BROOKLYN

DEAR ABBY: I am a 33-year-old virgin, and I have never been to a gynecologist. My regular doctor said I should make an appointment to see one. That was a year or so ago. She said it was to "make sure everything was OK."

I have made the appointments, but each time, I chicken out at the last minute and cancel because I have heard that a Pap test is done and it is painful. My best friend said she cried when she had hers done. She said it hurt really bad.

I had anxiety that was really bad two years ago because of big changes in my life. Three of my uncles and two of my cousins died within months of each other. I don't want my anxiety to flare up again. Little things make me anxious, and I am thinking this might trigger an episode.

Should a woman see a gynecologist even if she is not sexually active? Also, do you bleed after a Pap test is done? Thanks, Abby! -- SCARED IN BROOKLYN

I can't believe you're asking Dear Abby if she bleeds after her Pap. I know you probably meant it in a more general way. Do women typically bleed after a Pap. But that's not what you wrote. Here's how I interpret your letter: Dear Abby, Do you personally bleed after a Pap?

Until you wrote that, I never once imagined Dear Abby visiting the gynecologist. Now it's going to take a lot of alcohol and therapy to get some of those images out of my mind.

But your real problem is that you are a bundle of nerves. You talk about a Pap test as if it were a short term sexual relationship. What if you had a Pap test and the doctor never called you back? What's an acceptable time to call him? Two days, a week? Open up the Haagen Daz, sister!

The bad news is that sex will probably be just as painful as a Pap. The good news is that sex probably won't last as long. In either case, it's been 33 years. Time for a little action down there.

Your advice, readers?