AWAKE WITH THE SUNRISE, KEIZER, ORE.

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Too Tired in Parkville, Mo." (April 27), who said she is "not a morning person," but who has been assigned additional early-morning tasks at work. I, too, am a night owl. Give me a graveyard shift, and I am a happy camper. However, as a single mother of two children, that has never been an option.

I used to have a rough time in the mornings. (I would fall asleep over my keyboard on a regular basis.) I finally sought help from a doctor and learned that my daytime sleepiness was actually from a medical condition. I recommend that "Too Tired" speak to a physician to find out if there is an underlying cause for her sleepiness. -- AWAKE WITH THE SUNRISE, KEIZER, ORE.

Daytime sleepiness? It's a medical condition!

Yes, not everyone is a morna;siiiiiiiiiegjwhHOIUERWAGHOVANHABO;ERNE;BAOINR
(Sorry, I too occasionally fall asleep on my keyboard.)

First of all, I've never heard being tired called "daytime sleepiness" before. That's already a yellow flag in my book. Some marketing expert at a huge pharmaceutical company decided that the best way to sell their new drug was to convince people they suffered from "daytime sleepiness." Hey, they sell enough drugs to people who can't sleep at night. Why not sell drugs to people who are tired during the day?

I'm sure the drug even has a clever name like Arize or Imalert.

Why delve into the world of expensive pharmaceuticals when you can do what most people do. Go to bed a little earlier--aided by alcohol when necessary--and then curse your alarm in the morning and move around like a slightly hungover zombie until you get a cup of coffee. Repeat coffee until daytime sleepiness disappears.

Now that I think about it, I'm sure your letter is actually from the same marketing expert who came up with Arize. Get people who read Dear Abby (or Jeer Abby) to contact their doctor about daytime sleepiness.

My advice is to contact your local barista about daytime sleepiness. They'll be able to provide a natural remedy and your doctor can get back to curing cancer instead of hawking useless drugs for invented symptoms.

Your advice, readers?