BAFFLED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR ABBY: I find myself in a head vs. heart situation. I have ended an emotionally draining relationship of more than 10 years. As I tried to find the courage to "move on," I found myself turning to a married woman who understood everything I had experienced and made me believe that she was also looking for the courage to change her situation. Our relationship grew into something more than it should have, considering her marital status -- and a considerable amount of time has passed.

I still believe she is my closest friend, but I don't know if I should continue to support her in the hope that she will make a change. Or is it time to face the realization that I have made a big mistake and try to cut my ties with this woman? I am at the point of near obsession with wondering if this vision in my heart will ever come true.

My heart says hold out; my head says back away. I'm looking for objective wisdom. -- BAFFLED IN WASHINGTON

Objective wisdom? You've come to the right place.

Any time there is a "head vs. heart" situation, Jeer Abby always sides on going with your heart. Not because it's more romantic and can lead to true happiness, but because the outcome tends to range from dramatic to tragic, which is more fun to observe as an outsider. If you start making choices with your head, you're likely to start doing things the right way. That's no fun to mock from a distance.

Only your heart could have kept you in an "emotionally draining" relationship for a decade. Only your heart could make you believe this married woman you're sleeping with is your "closest friend." Only your heart could convince you that maybe there's a possibility this woman will leave her husband for someone as needy as you.

Your head is going to tell you things you don't want to hear, so why listen? Do you really want to know that you're embarking on yet another emotionally draining relationship? Do you really want to stop sleeping with the only woman who doesn't contemplate her own suicide just to avoid having to listen to you drone on about your 10 year mistake?

My objective advice is to hold out for this woman for no more than seven years--since it's my objective to mock the avoidable misery your heart is so good at delivering.

Your advice, readers?