Monday, June 18, 2007

HEALING IN NEW YORK CITY

DEAR ABBY: I recently had surgery to correct a defect in my urethra. The medical term for it is "hypospadias." I let my co-workers know in an e-mail and provided a link to answer any questions they might have. The link had a photo, and now some people are accusing me of "inappropriate conduct." I have since sent out an apology and a warning not to go to the link.

Abby, it was not my intent to be unprofessional, but I didn't want to have 35 conversations about what the condition is, or 35 conversations about why I am walking so slowly and with a cane. How should I respond? -- HEALING IN NEW YORK CITY

If you're going to send a link to all your co-workers with an image of a penis that has a defective urethra, you might as well send a picture of your own penis. Because they're all going to be picturing your defective urethra for the next week, possibly longer.

I guarantee that you wouldn't have to have 35 conversations about your surgery. All it would take is one conversation with the office gossip and no one would utter a word about your cane (the one to help you walk).

What offends me is the little act you put on. "Gosh, I had no idea my co-workers would be offended by the abnormal placement of the tip of my penis. I just thought they'd want to know why I walk with a cane. It's because of my defective penis--hey, why are you guys laughing?"

But I'm on to you "Healing." You're trying to get fired from your job. You want to blame the firing on your medical condition and sue the company so you never have to work again.

There's only one word for people like you--hypospadias.

Your advice, readers?

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