MAUREEN IN WEST CHICAGO

I couldn't help but add my two cents to the letter you printed from "Hungry in Madison Heights, Mich." (March 2), about the supervisor who stole everyone's food, candy, etc.

At my job, we had the same problem. "Dan" would open people's drawers and eat whatever he found, too. He would even go into lunch bags. It didn't matter if you were sitting there or not -- if it was food, he was into it!

One day a man who worked with him opened his desk drawer and realized that a tiny field mouse had gnawed through the wrapper of his candy bar and eaten part of it. He took the bar out of his desk and left it sitting there while he went to find someone to take care of the mouse. While he was gone, Dan entered his office, saw the candy, and took and ate it! Everyone except me was upset about him eating something that a mouse had nibbled. I was glad! Needless to say, Dan never took what wasn't his again. -- MAUREEN IN WEST CHICAGO

DEAR MAUREEN:

Wheeeeee! Take that "Dan"! Maureen, your life sounds full of wacky sitcom moments where pesky co-workers are taught humbling lessons from simple field mice. You're like a modern day office Aesop.

I'm sure you've told this story so many times now that it bears little resemblance to actual events. My guess is that "Dan" really did steal food from the break room refridgerator a few times and that a different co-worker probably had a candy bar eaten by a rat (field mice live in fields, Maureen).

But it's hard to believe "Dan" was such an a-hole that he would start gnawing on a half-eaten candy bar. I'm sure everyone joked that they should trick Dan into eating it--and maybe they did in some other prankish way--but it all sounds a little too easy the way you tell it. I just have a hard time believing that "Needless to say, Dan never took what wasn't his again." Because if he went back to stealing candy and pudding cups the next day, as I'm sure he did, your story's moral lesson is shot to hell.

You may think Dan is a total a-hole who steals other people's lunches and takes candy off desks. I think you love office gossip and making up moralistic stories because that's much easier than confronting Dan and telling him to knock that s--t off. You deserve to lose every Milky Way bar Dan plucks from your gossipy lips.

Your advice, readers?