PROTECTIVE WIFE IN SANTA CLARA, CALIF.

Is it harmful for someone to practice golf swings right after breakfast? I'm talking about leaving the breakfast table and heading outside to the back yard and starting practice. The way I see it, swings exert a lot of effort. Swinging a club for 15 to 20 minutes could do damage to the internal organs, right? To say the least, I don't think it helps the digestion.

The "someone" I'm writing about is my husband. He plays golf almost weekly. The only time he doesn't play is when he is away on a business trip. I'm 100 percent behind him playing golf because it's good for his health. I just don't think that practicing any sport right after a meal is appropriate.

I brought this up with him, but he keeps saying that it's the only time he can practice. My argument is: Not being able to do it at some other time doesn't mean that one should do it at the WRONG time.

Please enlighten me on this. If I'm convinced that it won't do my husband any harm, I'll shut up. -- PROTECTIVE WIFE IN SANTA CLARA, CALIF.

Your poor, poor husband. I doubt you'll "shut up" because I don't think it's in your nature. You'll find something else to complain about before he has time to replace his divots (hey, why not harp on him about not replacing divots in the backyard!).

First of all, you need to understand that your husband leaves the breakfast table to swing golf clubs--not because it's the only time he has to practice--but because he needs an excuse to get away from your nagging. You worry about his digestion. Instead, be happy that he's diverting his pent up hostility into sport.

The truth is, you don't like the fact that he leaves the table without talking to you. You can't blame golf--since I'm guessing you've already nagged him about exercising--so you grasp for straws and come up with some lame digestive excuse. People eat WHILE golfing, so I don't think digestion is a serious concern. Unless he's diving into a water hazard for stray balls, you don't need to impose any sort of 15 minute limit.

You should, on the other hand, impose a limit on the petty things you nag him about. If that's impossible, you should really go all the way. Go outside with him and offer helpful advice on his golf swing. You may want to point out the status of some of his shots. "Sliced that one." "Did you mean to miss the ball?" "Ohh, bladed it."

I guarantee he'll stop golfing after breakfast.

Your advice, readers?