CATHIE H. IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: This is for "Jack's Grandpa" (April 2), whose wife is afraid wearing pink will cause their baby grandson to turn into a cross-dresser. Relax! My aunt desperately wanted a baby girl, but to her disappointment, she had a baby boy. She kept that kid in frilly dresses with ruffles and his hair long and in curls until he was 4!

He grew up to be a fine young man. He did his service in Vietnam, married and raised a family. Of course, the rest of the family accepted his mother's "eccentricities," and no one ridiculed or poked fun at him. If a pink blanket is the worst thing that kid ever has to contend with in his life, they should all be grateful. -- CATHIE H. IN CALIFORNIA

Oh where to begin Cathie?

Everyone under the age of 70 knows that dressing a young boy in pink clothes won't make him a cross-dresser. But it will make him gay.

Just kidding (I think).

Dressing your little boy in medical scrubs won't make him an anesthesiologist and a miniature pants suit on your infant daughter won't turn her into an empowered female attorney.

But let's suppose for some reason those pink cashmere sweaters your aunt dressed her son in actually turned him into a cross-dresser. Let's say he still served in Vietnam, married and raised a family--but liked to wear pink nighties in the privacy of his own home.

Yes, it's a little odd, but is it the end of the world? Does it negate everything else he's accomplished?

Haven't you heard the stories about J. Edgar Hoover? Or seen Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani decked out in women's clothes on Saturday Night Live? Or those skirts all of Mel Gibson's army wore in Braveheart?

Women can wear men's dress shirts and it's sexy. Men wear women's bras and it's... okay, it's silly. But there's nothing technically wrong with it other than it not being remotely sexy.

If your aunt really wanted a girl, she should have pushed for a more aggressive circumcision.

Your advice, readers?