JUDY IN BIRMINGHAM, ALA.

DEAR ABBY: Is 16 too young to know you're truly in love? My boyfriend, "Miles," and I both feel that we're truly in love and want to spend the rest of our lives together. We realize that it will be a few years at the least before we can marry, but we're willing to wait.

My older sister laughs at me when I say that I know I'm in love. She says I am way too young, and I need to be older and more mature -- like she is -- to understand. She's 17 1/2, so she's really not that much older.

I have a large picture of Miles in our room, and when she has friends over, she points at it and says, "That's Judy's true love forever," and they all laugh about it. Can you be truly in love at my age? -- JUDY IN BIRMINGHAM, ALA.

It's hard NOT to be truly in love when you're 16.

Your big concern isn't how to enjoy true love for the rest of your life. You need to start re-thinking this whole getting married in a few years thing. There are laws against drinking alcohol before you're 21 years old, but apparently the teenage years are still acceptable for making legally binding lifelong committments. It's certainly not going to damper your true love to wait until you can legally consume champagne at your wedding.

My guess is that you'll be able to drive each other nuts before then with inflated, unrealistic expectations. Or Miles will be so mortified to find a large photo hanging in your room that he'll start talking about "needing space."

Your advice, readers?

HURTING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ABBY: I am 17 years old and believe I am suffering from chronic depression. I am very emotional and cry a lot. I get good grades, and people say I'm a great baby sitter, but I feel that I'm not good at anything else.

My younger sister, who is 15, is very outgoing and has a lot of friends. I have only a few, so I get jealous.

Now I have started gaining weight to the point that I am no longer "skinny."

About four months ago, my best friend of two years and I stopped getting along, and we haven't spoken since.

I have had counseling for two years. I go every three months, but nothing is changing. Both my parents feel that it is a waste of money. I try to talk to them sometimes, but they just take it as a joke. I am confused about everything, and I am so lonely. Do you have any advice? -- HURTING IN PENNSYLVANIA

Depression? Very emotional? Cries a lot? Confusion and loneliness? My diagnosis is that you're a teenager.

I'm not trying to make light of your misery, the way I usually do with people who write in, but I don't want you to start labeling yourself with ailments. If you're clinically depressed, by all means seek help and start popping those anti-depressants. But if you're just teenage depressed, powder your face white, go heavy on the eyeliner and start listening to whichever goth bands are popular with the kids these days. Ask yourself if perhaps your depression is actually existential angst. Read some Camus or watch Woody Allen movies from the post-Annie Hall era. Revel in your depression because the teenage years are the only time that depression is actually cool.

Also, you wouldn't train for a marathon by running every three months. Maybe you ought to visit the counselor more frequently. If your parents joke about your problems, stop talking to them.

You're a good babysitter. My advice is to start saving your money so you can go off to college next year and get far away from your friends, family and the town that make you feel like sh**.

Your advice, readers?

TEMPTED TO REFUSE IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are planning to attend my niece's wedding next month and, as usual, the prospect of being with my family has thrown me into a tizzy. We are simple people -- we are both teachers, and we have raised three great children but no superstars.

My sister and brothers are all wealthy. Their children are excellent scholars and/or athletes, including two who play professionally.

I feel fine about our accomplishments and am proud of our children and what they have done -- that is, until I am around my brothers and sister. Then I beat myself up thinking I wasn't as good a mother as I should have been.

I am tempted to skip this wedding because this happens every single time, and I don't enjoy my visits with them. What do I do? -- TEMPTED TO REFUSE IN THE U.S.A.

Don't worry about whether or not you're a good enough mother. More importantly, you and your children got shortchanged when it came to genetics, which is beyond your control.

Just kidding. But your kids must be thrilled to hear they're not "superstars." Isn't it a mom's job to think this despite all evidence to the contrary? Maybe you are a bad m-- never mind.

From your letter, I can't really tell what type of people your sister and brothers are. Yes, they're "wealthy" and they have children who play professional sports. Ideally, they would also be total douche bags who mocked you for your peasant/teacher lifestyle. Then I could advise you to skip the wedding unless they pay for your travel, 4-star hotel and a solar powered Hummer to transport you from hotel to wedding.

But they could be very kind and generous people who, unfortunately for you, are very successful. You have a "My Kid is an Honor Student at the School I Teach At" bumper sticker on your Windstar minivan, while your siblings polish their kids' Superbowl rings with the Green jacket from the Masters tournament, stuffed with hundred dollar bills. But they do it in a nice way.

The problem is you. Or rather your insecurities. Some part of you is probably hoping someone will pin a medal on your chest (probably iron or stainless steel, definitely not a precious metal) for dedicating your life to educating young minds. But as your signature notes, you live in the U.S.A. and unless you're being portrayed in a movie about an optimistic white teacher changing the lives of inner city minorities, no one cares about the fact that you're a teacher. So your ace card--living a less lucrative but more fulfilling life--isn't really a card you can play.

These trips drive you nuts because you hold on to the belief that you don't have as much money--but you're happier. Then you see them and realize they're happy too. Start acting happier when you see them instead of going into a "tizzy."

Don't worry about winning this round of sibling rivalry--you won't. Go to the wedding and eat all the free catering and alcohol you can cram down your throat. You'll achieve a certain amount of success if you can avoid throwing up crab cakes, caviar and Cristal the next morning.

Your advice, readers?

(PS: Jeer Abby turns 1 month old today!)