STUCK IN SAN ANTONIO

DEAR ABBY: How do you tell people you just don't like them and don't want to be friends anymore? My husband, daughter and I are "friends" with a family we became acquainted with when our daughter was in first grade. That was three years ago.

This family is annoying and loud, and we can't seem to distance ourselves from them. They constantly call for playdates and dinner dates. The kids get along well, but my husband and I do not like this couple and prefer not to spend our social time with them. How do we distance ourselves without offending them? -- STUCK IN SAN ANTONIO

Your problem is that you don't want to offend them--or anyone, is my guess--and that's what puts you in situations like this. You are so afraid to be the bad guy that you have to make the other person the bad guy to stop hanging out with them.

A true professional would simply evade playdates and dinner dates the moment the couple became annoying. They could have been fun to hang with at first. But once they cross the line to becoming irritating, the only option is to ignore them completely. Sooner or later, they will get the message. If you want faster results, just try to do things that will offend them so they'll stop inviting you. That SNL skit where Cheri Oteri and Chris Kattan are a couple who talk dirty and pretend to have sex while having the new neighbors over for dinner comes to mind.

But to be honest, there's something a little cold and priggish in your tone. Families are supposed to be loud and annoying. Haven't you ever been to Olive Garden on a Friday night? I'm sure that if you showed your true selves to this family, they would no longer want to spend time with you.

Your advice, readers?