DEAR ABBY: Can you go to Al-Anon if you had a husband who was an alcoholic, but is dead? He committed suicide with a 5.0 blood alcohol level.
I have been a mess for the last two years. I can't sleep, can't concentrate and don't enjoy anything. I would really like to be able to talk with people who understand what living with an alcoholic is like and won't blame me for what he did, as most of his family does. But I hesitate to go to Al-Anon.
What can I do to get over the self-inflicted death of a man I'll never stop loving? -- HURTING IN HOUSTON
Interestingly enough, reading your letter made me want to have a drink, or shoot myself.
I can't imagine anything done with a 5.0 blood alcohol level would be deliberate. The fact that he could commit suicide while being that drunk is impressive in its own way.
You could probably go to Al-Anon (even though the hyphenated spelling reads like a terrorist organization). But why not visit a therapist or support group for spouses of suicides? Clearly you're depressed, which in your situation could easily lead to--surprise!--alcoholism and/or suicide.
You want help, that's great. You don't necessarily need it from the people who could have helped your husband.
And if your husband's family blames you instead of him, they need to start some therapy or to at least stop being such major douche bags.
Your advice, readers?
1 comment:
Instead of your husband's family blaming you for his drinking and death, perhaps they should look more closely at themselves. It's easy to point your finger when you're not doing anything else.
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