HAVING A BALL DOWN SOUTH

DEAR ABBY: My daughter's former lover, "Beau," is my age. (She is 20 years younger.) She was married when she and Beau had their affair, and still is. She regretted the affair, but continues to keep him as a friend. She introduced us a few years ago.

As their affair dwindled to a friendship, Beau and I began to have an interest in each other. As I started to see him in a different light, my family got upset.

Are they overreacting, or is this so strange that I should stop the relationship? It does creep me out a bit, but Beau is such fun to be with that I don't dwell on the past. Would it be extremely weird to date your daughter's ex-lover? Your thoughts, please. -- HAVING A BALL DOWN SOUTH

I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "having a ball" but I hope it's not what I'm thinking considering your daughter also had the same ball "down south."

In some ways, this whole messed up situation makes sense. Your daughter was looking for a father figure and you're now playing the role of the mother figure. Wait, that doesn't make this any less gross.

How about... the man currently taking up residence in your vagina also had sex with someone who popped out of that vagina. Hmm, still doesn't seem right.

You should be able to date whoever you want as long as it makes you happy. That would be true if we lived in fairy cupid land (located Down South?). But since we live in a culture where a mother and daughter screwing the same guy should only take place in poorly produced porn movies, your family's horror and revulsion seems appropriate. You ask if they're overreacting? I'd say they're underreacting.

Intentionally or not, you're asking your family to visualize some awfully disturbing stuff. On the plus side, I'm sure you've made Beau get a standing ovation in the health club locker room.

Your advice, readers?